I run in the mornings. At about mile 2 I usually have some point that I get to in my mind. I think it takes 2 miles for all the jibberish to go away so I can think clearly. I love it.
Today I am thinking 2 things:
1. How far can I run after eating 1/2 cup oatmeal today and .6 units of novolog insulin "on board" before I have to stop? - answer was 43 minutes.
2. As much as I enjoy and encourage my daughter in her activities outside of school- hula, gymnastics, ballet, track etc... How much of this is ME living vicariously through her? I had my clarity moment when I realized this morning how much I want to do ballet. I want to swing on the bars. I have never pushed her to do these things, and only try to be supportive, but I also do get some sort of satisfaction being there as a witness because I am the mom. I am part of it in a way.
I will vow to try and be aware of this as she grows and does more and more. I will not be the 'stage mom" and put her in things I want her to do. I will ask her how she feels about her activities and not ever force her to do things. I have seen too much of that in other families. It is so hard on the kids.
If she likes it and wants to do it. Great. Enough said.
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I experience the same feelings with Max. I am definitely living vicariously through his piano playing. I no longer have time to play trombone and so guiding him through his piano lessons and teaching him about music allows me to satisfy my need to be a musician.
ReplyDeleteRight now, he loves playing piano, so I haven't had to deal with the situation of him not wanting to play piano. I am being slightly sneaky, however, I just bought him a USB keyboard that connects to our iMac and I showed him how he can make his own music with GarageBand. That got him interested in just playing around, coming up with his own riffs and combining them in various ways.
So, you are not alone!! :-)